Remember what they stole from you

Your clothes are filthy.

In the name of “environmentalism” your government has made it nigh to impossible to get your clothes clean.

“High-efficiency” washing machines aren’t efficient at cleaning clothes, they are efficient at rationing water. Detergents require lots of water. The hydrophilic end of the detergent molecule forms an ion-dipole interaction with water, the other end hates water (hydrophobic) and interacts with oils and other filth. This then forms a micelle which encapsulates the the dirt to be carried away. The more water the better.

These damnable “high-Efficiency” washing machines are also watertight. After you wash your clothes, you close the door on the washer which then forms an airtight seal and a perfect environment for mold growth. You’ll notice your bath towels smell musty if you have one of these abominable machines.

Also, your laundry detergents no longer contain phosphates. Phosphates create a very basic, or high pH environment in the wash. In these conditions greases and oils saponify. The phosphates essentially turn the filth in your laundry to a soap, which then interacts with water and rinses away.

You clothes are dirty. I promise. Modern equipment and detergents cannot give the results I remember from childhood, the crips white sheets, no deodorant residue left on shirts, the fresh cotton scent, etc., all are impossible with the garbage the government has mandated for you.

Your laundry is less hygienic than it was in the 80’s and before.

The Hambrickian Laundry Protocol (HLP)

  1. Get an old timey washing machine. No front loaders. They are fake and ghey. The top loading Speed Queens are great. So are the lower end machines that open from the top and have mechanical timers. Stay away from “high-efficiency.” The old machines were highly efficient at cleaning. The new ones are efficient at not using water.
  2. Go to the hardware or paint store and buy the biggest box of TSP you can get. Tri-sodium-phosphate. NA3PO4.
  3. Buy oxyclean
  4. Buy the cheapest laundry soap you can find. Probably the stuff at the Mexican market.
  5. Set your machine to “heavy duty” or whatever your longest wash cycle is. Begin filling your machine with water BEFORE you start loading clothes in. Make sure the “Load Size” setting on your machine is set to max. Set the water temperature to “High” or “Hot.” You want as much water as possible, even if you are doing a small load.
  6. Add
    -1/3 cup of oxyclean.
    -1/3 cup of TSP.
    -1 scoop of your cheap Mexican laundry soap.
    IF YOU ARE WASHING WHITES 1 CUP OF NO-SHIT REAL CHLORINE BLEACH.
  7. Load the laundry in.
  8. Wash.

Now you have a non-chlorine bleach, a detergent, and phosphates in your wash. This is wonderful. When you add the Chlorine bleach IT KILLS BACTERIA AND WHITENS YOUR WASH. IT KILLS BACTERIA!!!!!1111

Your clothes are probably dirty and dingy and you don’t realize it. When you start doing the HLP you should probably soak your clothes overnight to get them good and clean, afterward a regular washing will likely get the job done.

Remember, they don’t care if you walk around with pit stains, ring around the collar, dried detergent dust in your towels, etc. In fact, they think you are dirty and beneath them.

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